How to Talk to a Friend

This could be one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have to have with your friend. How do you approach the topic of their alcohol and other drug use, or other concerning behavior, without making them defensive or angry?

Use I statements - “I’m worried about you.”
Describe behaviors – “I’ve noticed that you…”
Connect to consequences – “When you…then you…”
Make a suggestion- “I think you might want to ...”
Direct to Resources- “If that’s too hard to do on your own maybe you could go to CAPS, or the LGBT center, or Health Education.”

Some people will feel relieved that the burden they are carrying might be lifted. Other people are not ready to face the reality of their situation and they want to deny that a problem exists. Either way, if you let them know you care about them and are worried, it could help prepare your friend to take action and accept the help you want them to get.

Office of Alcohol Policy Initiatives * Vice Provost for University Life